Wednesday, 19 October 2016

阿豪与阿包出游记












Photo from http://jin.sokutu.com/tupian.html,http://www.yuelvxing.com/post/5408/

很久很久以前(童话故事都是这样开始的,一个来自大妈国的土豪(简称阿豪)来到南洋岛找朋友。什么样的朋友你别管,就这样展开了一段“豪”爽的旅途。

如何“豪”法?

话说阿豪一心想要离开敬爱的大妈国,离开烦杂,过上几天relax生活。 你可千万别怪大妈,给不了阿豪简单平静的生活。大妈的用心有谁明了?大妈就是强,就是大,才可以保护阿豪健康的成长。二来,阿豪也想过过手瘾,在没有大妈管家的监视下,努力且真心的想为给南洋国经济出份绵力。当然,南洋岛对大妈人的善行绝对是无任欢迎了,多多益善。

好啦,旅游宗旨我们都清楚了。接下来就是大家所期待的旅行小趣事了。

阿豪机缘巧合在南洋岛有幸结交了一群土生土长的南洋友人,其中包括了土里土气的土包(简称阿包)。一天,阿豪就约了阿包(为什么阿包?因为阿包最闲空。而且两人同姓,都姓土,感觉格外亲切。)去做运动撒撒手,背后的目的是为了减少荷包的厚度。热心助人的阿包于是就天真的跟着阿豪充当地陪,免费,阿包真是好人一枚。

傻里傻气的阿包问阿豪说想去哪儿做运动。阿豪目标明确的说“废你胳膊”。阿包一惊,从来没听过如此霸气的品牌,果然来头不小。但阿包没听过的有什么好稀奇,不足挂齿。为了不让阿豪失望,阿包当然还是铆足全力使劲地想了各大大小小的品牌三十遍。最后皇天不负苦心人,让阿包想起了“Ferragamo菲拉格慕”,就跟阿豪查证一下。BINGO!掌声给阿包!!!

两人也大步的往“你胳膊”前进。阿豪就是阿豪,作风完全就是柜姐的最爱,花不上20分钟就选好了。满脸喜悦的柜姐问说“先生,需要办退税吗?” 你在开玩笑吗,阿豪耶!你以为是阿猫阿狗吗?(其实毛狗也很可爱的)阿豪冷冷的回说“不了。。。” 这时,阿包又一惊,赶紧照顾一下大哥,温情提醒阿豪外地人是可以免税的。“也不才7%,阿豪我是来贡献社会,帮助经济的也。” 柜姐心里咒骂阿包多事,面依然带着笑容说“没关系,先生。如果有雅致,您可以在机场弄;如果嫌麻烦,那就算了。可以吗?我这就去办。” 下一秒柜姐就不见了,别担心,这不是鬼故事,只是柜姐效率好。阿包心存感动,世界上竟然会有这么好的人*乐富油*

在这气氛相当感动的当儿,柜姐回来了。“土先生,谢谢您!这里是护照,收据以及退税300大元。再一惊,阿包以为自己听错。什么!!!300大元吗?300大元可算是阿包几个星期的伙食费了!那。。。那一个东西不就是4285.71大元吗?阿包,你数学还真不错,但是可以不要这么大惊小怪吗?不就是个十百千,4千2百8。。。什么!!!

阿包握着左心房,随着阿豪离开去吃饭。吃饭时,阿包因惊吓过度,久久不能回神。吃了什么:不详;多少大元:不详;谁买单:不是阿包就对了。你可能会说阿包没见过世面,大惊小怪。是啊,因为阿包身边都是脚踏实地过着朴素生活的人,从来没有看过如此撒手买东西的人。 阿豪确实是阿包的第一个。

感觉头脑肿胀,阿包吃完晚饭后就建议回家。好吧,也出来动活了一天,就搭个车回去吧。下车时,阿豪随手丢下100大元当车费,然后离去。100大元可是可以环岛绕3圈都有得找钱。此时,阿包已经休克在车上了。。。

有阿豪这种朋友,你羡慕吗?

也许是阿包傻,不懂得享受山珍海味,也不懂得顺势人前扮大爷。因为对阿包来说,快乐很简单。每一板钱,都是靠自己的双手挣回来的。虽然辛苦,但换来更大的满足感和知我肯定。反观,真正可悲的反而是只会一昧撒大元而赢来尊敬,却始终不能理解其价值所在的阿豪。。。

你意下如何?






Saturday, 8 October 2016

I want a rich papa AND/OR mama!

Yes 兜巴星was born. So what is next? 

Don't doubt, just anticipate and follow the pace of light speed 3 x 10^6 m/s that will bring you the other side of the world... 
越是捉摸不定,越是具有魅力
Yeah man, we are playing tricks just like what girls like to do, as always. *wink*

There we go... 
Thanks to the merge of superstar Nathan Hartono that gives me this idea. *ting ting*

When every 凡人 is inspired at how well NH can sing like a ABC, how good he can represent his country, how handsome he is like Jay Chou, bla bla bla... 真凡人的想法. 

This is what 兜巴星 thinks instead:
1. WOW that bloody family background! How many of us can have a papa of Managing Director of XXX and a mama of Senior Vice President of YYY? Please try to Google the name of your papa and mama and see what you get. Most importantly let me know ONLY if you find and let's be friend, I beg you...

2. Who can pursuit DREAMS? Everyone! But who can pursuit DREAMS smoothly? Please pray to a rich papa and mama. Yes I must admit that I am so damn jealous... 

3, Compared to gas & oil / banking industry, lifestyle business is now the trend. Inspired by NH's papa and mama, we can dig money out from lifestyle. Despite of starvation and hardship in old times, we are now leading a modern poverty where everyone is leading a boring life and our souls are so empty. Lucky one can get to work 9 to 5; unfortunate one use your labour in return for money. We end up having cash in hand, but we are more lonely than ever. Then it kicks in the need for lifestyle that comfort your hollow soul. *ka ching ka ching ba bling ba bling*

Photo from online: http://www.herworldplus.com

4. Milo, yes free marketing, but 兜巴星 cant help to ask "aint you trying too hard to 沾光"? People simply mentioned about iced Milo and the next minute you sponsor the drink. It makes me wonder what other Nestle products you can offer, more expensive one please. Or maybe by chance you have my fav teh peng? What really makes my jaw drops on the floor and drags for 3 streets far is to see the cheapo long queue for iced Milo. For god sake, you never have Milo before?

5. Hello NH, we have similarity when we use England - China at the same time. Just that your England is better. 

So, 凡人们, do we have alike mind?

Welcome to the family. CLICK follow +1, thank you!